Actor and social activist Somy Ali has spoken about the pressure female actors faced in Bollywood during the 1990s, pointing out how women were often judged by their age, appearance and personal choices. Reflecting on her time in the film industry, Somy believes that while male actors were often allowed to grow older and take on more distinguished roles, women were expected to maintain their youth and beauty to remain relevant.
“Absolutely. There was an unspoken expectation that a woman’s value in the film industry was closely tied to her youth, beauty, and ability to fit a particular image. Men were often allowed to grow older and be seen as more experienced, powerful, or distinguished. Women, on the other hand, were expected to fight the passage of time as though aging were a personal failure,” she says.
Somy adds that women should not be judged by their appearance or age. “I have come to believe that our worth cannot be measured by a face, a figure, or the number of years we have lived. Beauty is not a woman’s obligation, and aging is not something for which she should have to apologize. We need to stop teaching women that their greatest achievement is to remain desirable to others. Their intelligence, talent, compassion, courage, and contributions matter far more than their ability to remain frozen in time,” she says.
Talking about the opportunities available to older female actors, Somy says that women often found their choices becoming limited as they grew older, despite their talent and experience. She points out that male actors, meanwhile, could continue playing romantic leads opposite considerably younger women.
“Yes, that was a very real concern. Women could be exceptionally talented, yet the opportunities available to them often narrowed as they grew older. Meanwhile, male actors could continue playing romantic leads opposite considerably younger women. The imbalance was difficult to ignore,” she says.
She believes that an actor’s life experiences can add depth to their performances and that women should be allowed to explore a wider range of characters at every stage of their lives. “A woman who has experienced love, loss, motherhood, heartbreak, ambition, or reinvention has an extraordinary emotional landscape to draw from. Why should those experiences make her less relevant as an artist? We need stories that allow women to inhabit the full spectrum of human experience. Let women be complicated, ambitious, flawed, powerful, vulnerable, romantic, and adventurous at every age. A woman’s story does not end when society decides she is no longer young enough to be its idea of beautiful,” she says.
Somy also highlights the double standards women face when it comes to their relationships and personal decisions. According to her, women are often scrutinised for choices that men are allowed to make without facing the same level of judgment.
“Yes. Society has historically applied a double standard to women’s personal lives. A man who exercises independence may be celebrated as confident and assertive, while a woman who makes the same choices can be labelled selfish, difficult, immoral, or rebellious,” she says.
She adds, “Women are often expected to explain whom they love, why a relationship ended, why they chose to leave, and why they want to live life on their own terms. Men are not always subjected to the same level of scrutiny. I believe every woman has the right to make decisions about her own life without being reduced to gossip or moral judgment. Leaving a relationship that no longer serves you is not a failure. Living independently is not a character flaw. And choosing yourself does not mean you lack the capacity to love someone else.”
Speaking about her work with survivors of abuse, Somy says the fear of being judged can prevent women from seeking help or leaving unsafe relationships. “As someone who now works with survivors of abuse, I have seen how deeply the fear of judgment can affect a person’s ability to seek help or leave an unsafe situation. We must create a culture in which women are supported for making choices that protect their dignity and safety, rather than shamed for making choices that challenge convention,” she says.
Reflecting on the beauty standards prevalent in Bollywood, Somy believes that the pressure to conform continues to affect women, even though the standards themselves may have changed over the years. She clarifies that the issue is not with makeup or fashion but with women feeling compelled to change themselves to be accepted.
“I believe there was considerable pressure to fit a particular beauty standard, and the pressure to conform has not disappeared. The standards may change, but the expectation that women must continually modify themselves to remain acceptable can be exhausting,” she says.
“There is nothing wrong with makeup, fashion, or choosing to change one’s appearance. The problem begins when a woman feels she must do these things to remain worthy of attention, affection, employment, or respect. I want women to have the freedom to wear makeup or not wear it, to embrace their natural appearance or experiment with their style, and to age without feeling that they are losing their place in the world,” she adds.
For Somy, true empowerment lies in allowing women to make their own choices without fear of criticism or professional consequences. She believes the expectation that women must remain young, beautiful, agreeable and desirable to retain their value is one that needs to change.
“Women should not have to sacrifice their authenticity to remain employable. They should not have to suppress their opinions to appear pleasant, conceal their age to remain relevant, or tolerate disrespect to protect their careers. And this extends beyond Bollywood. It is a problem in workplaces, families, relationships, and society at large,” she says.
She further adds, “I would like the next generation of girls to grow up knowing that they do not owe the world a particular appearance, a particular personality, or a life that conforms to someone else’s expectations. They owe themselves the opportunity to discover who they are and to live with dignity. We cannot talk about empowering women while continuing to judge them by standards we would never impose equally on men. Real change begins when we stop treating a woman’s appearance as her greatest asset and start recognizing her as a complete human being.”
